i should know better

I can't do this alone.
I won't do this alone.
I shouldn't have to even be in this position.
You have always chosen what suits you most.
Picked the manner that best fits your plans.
Even when you compromised, with far too many terms.
And fine prints.
And exit clauses.
And passive demands.
Done my best to be level headed; as collected as possible.
Tolerated.
Endured.
Done my best to hold things together.
You have no idea what its like to manage a spider web.
Or what it feels like to always walk on eggshells.
To feel like giving it all up;
To fight to keep a strong front;
To smile and pretend.
You promised to make things better.
And for a while I believed you did.
But it was merely to better suit your schedule.
To what's important to you.
Again.
I should have known better.