oh please...

I've been very discontent these days.
And angry.

It just seems that far too many things are happening and my tiny brain and megre emotional capacity cannot keep up. And I don't feel it often but sometimes I really think I need to give it all up and stop being responsible, stop feeling the intense need to be sensible, reasonable and rational. To rant and rail. To kick and scream. To make those that have been an annoyance pay dearly for their stupidity, insensitivity and selfishness. Its always something, someone, some-whatever whatever. Its annoying. Its frustrating. Its totally destabilizing.

Maybe I should name names and get them off and chest and out in the open in one fell swoop. They people will know who they are and can be forewarned about them. After all, some of them wear some sweet demeanors and masks and cloak themselves with the mantle of pity and and threats. Its tempting. Really. Particularly since I've done nothing to warrant these people doing what they did. Yeah, where these people are concerned, Rie really has the high ground- in all sense of the word.

So stop pretending you care. Stop pretending the world owes you something. Stop expecting a simple "sorry" makes any sort of difference when the actions that accompany it are incongruous. Stop expecting me to suck-it-up-and-deal. Stop expecting me to be ok. Stop expecting me to allow time to do its alledged magic and heal wounds and all that crap.

I'm not ok and I won't be for a long while. Not given my hands are half tied, you're stone-walling and perpectually trying to skirmish out of this, that or other; with some fancy mancy excuse that stinks. Not since I cannot hunt down these pain-in-the-necks and skin them for the world to see.

I can almost hear my mother's chant to forgive and forget. I've never been very good with both. For some I have an obligation to work on them, for others, I don't even have to try.

Ps: Don't call/sms/write to ask if I'm ok. I'm not.