Day 5: The things that shape us

Was clearing out stuff today and came across an old piece of writing (a piece of poetry written long time ago, i've re-printed it below... alas, the crappy stuff we churned out, I'm so embarassed) that jolted me back some ten years; coupled with the fact that I just came back from my SCGS 10th year reunion kinda made time move in a strangely slow, retrospective manner that makes your inside go warm and slightly cold at the same time. Its amazing to be reminded of where you came and revisit the lives of the people that were instrumental in shaping the you in the past, laying the foundation of the you of today.

When I was in secondary school my friend Joan and I had a love-hate relationship with two totally funny guys from another school. It was the two of us against the two of them and for a long while we had a correspondence of letters that included stream-of-consciousness writing, empty titbit packets stuck onto foolscape, long pseudo-poetry and loads of insults, innuendos and what have you traded back and forth. This absurd relationship has endured to some degree over the years and we seen each other grow up, change, develop, move on to different things in our lives. We'd spanned half the globe with the guys overseas and us back here pursing totally divergent paths; we've had totally bizzare and strange reunions and seen how our network of friends have crissed-crossed way too many times for it to be entirely normal.

So, we have grown over the years. One of us is a photojournalist- after a long journey of teaching, design work and a beautiful wedding to a guy that seemed tailor made for her. One deals with the army or air force, and I believe he busies himself with something to do with security this, that or other. Another is still far far away deeply cleaved in the northern hemisphere battling to finish med school while concurrently pursuing a life behind the shutters, I personally hope he gets to do both given how gifted he really is in either fields. And then, there's me.

Its hard to remember exaclty how things were, really. Its all a blur but there are significant enough moments to make me smile, tear and at the core of it make me realise how far this road we've all taken, and how its small things can really impact you so very greatly. That the things that shape us are are not the big decisions or the grand occassions, but the small ones that sometimes come in crumpled envelopes with a big fat smiley face, or in poorly wrapped packages sometimes containing dried leaves or a hand made paper weight, or even sometimes, in that twinkling of the eyes that speaks volumes.

To J, N, C: This is for you. Cheers to the years gone by.
This, I believe was written in response to one of the nonsense letters you guys wrote us.

Whinny now, fear creeps upon them
Helplessly they await certain death
Youth? It no longer matters at all to them

Divellicated bodies scatter the floor
Ominously peering from unseeing eyes
No one would or could hear their cry
Telos. Fated. Real. Sad. So sad.

Younkers have fallen to mere vulnerabilty
Over and over again, throughout history
Undulatingly, their hears pound against their chest

Grovelling bear by, waiting so patiently
Unless assistance comes quick- lost.
Yips escapes; terror strikes so deep
Sealed fate.

Grim silence explodes...
Overwhelming. Overwhelming.

All of a sudden- hope bursts forth
Needle fine pricks of gratitude
Dismay and dispair cleaned from slate

Dire states are long, far and gone
In its place they are all
Ex arquo indebted to me...